


The Dark Wizard's New Robes

by threeplusfire



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fairy Tale Retellings, Fairy tale violence, Gen, Voldemort Dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-15 07:06:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10552108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threeplusfire/pseuds/threeplusfire
Summary: A wizarding version of the Emperor's New Clothes - the Weasley twins promise to make Voldemort the most powerful robes a wizard could wear.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written for a Fairytale prompt fest back in 2006 and published on a now defunct blog. It was too ridiculous not to want to preserve somehow. This was also before we knew the end, in that glorious period of time before canon became fixed. I miss those days.

Many, many years ago there lived a powerful and twisted dark wizard who terrorized the Wizarding world with a war that brought death and devastation to every house. This wizard's name was Lord Voldemort, though it was not his true name and he refused to acknowledge any other. The search for ultimate power and life everlasting has warped his mind, and his soul was split time and time again in acts of terror and cruelty. In the last years of the century, Lord Voldemort had gone quite mad and lost much of his original purpose. Lord Voldemort's burning desire was to kill a young boy named Harry Potter. He thought of almost nothing else, even as his faithful soldiers waged war on his behalf across the English countryside.  
  
The castle where Lord Voldemort resided was a grim place, with thick stone walls and narrow windows. House elves kept the fires burning and prepared meals all hours for those who came and went from the great castle. One day, Severus Snape brought two young men to the castle. They were both fair, with bright red hair and sly smiles, and were known far and wide as the creators of many amusing and clever devices. They were also known as blood traitors in Lord Voldemort's castle, but rumors flew thick and furious round the castle about the influence of Death Eaters Percy Weasley and Severus Snape.  
  
Snape made Fred and George Weasley kneel before Lord Voldemort, and the Death Eaters gathered around in anticipation of what they might hear. They told a fantastic tale, about the invention of a magical cloth that would protect the bearer from the most powerful and terrible of curses. The cloth created a powerful, golden shield that deflected curses away. However the cloth only worked for wizards of strong blood and strong minds, and it would fail for any lesser wizard. It also had the advantage of being visible only to one worthy to use it, for the magic involved was far beyond the perceptions of lesser wizards. Only the truly mighty and powerful could view its incredible magic and luster.  
  
"What a fantastic creation," thought Lord Voldemort. "If I had robes made of such stuff, I could withstand any curse that Harry Potter might think to use. I might also learn which of my followers was fit to serve me." So Lord Voldemort spared the lives of the Weasley twins, and gave them an enormous sum of money, in advance, so that they should set to work without any loss of time. Fred and George set up a lab and pretended to be very hard at work, but they did nothing in their lab except cause explosions and stand at empty looms. They asked for precious potions ingredients, and fine jewels and all that they received they did away with in secret. Late into the evenings, Fred and George would pretend to toil in their lab, under the watchful eyes of the dark wizard's trusted soldier Severus Snape.  
  
"I should very much like to know how they are getting on with these robes," thought Lord Voldemort. But he felt rather uneasy when he remembered that it would not work properly for those lacking in blood or magic. Personally he was of the opinion that he had nothing to fear, yet he thought it advisable to send someone else first to see how matters stood. All of the Death Eaters in the castle knew what a remarkable cloth the Weasley boys had come up with, and they were all anxious to see how their companions might fail the magical test.  
  
"I shall send my faithful servant Lucius," thought Lord Voldemort. "His is a fine judge of enchanted objects; no one knows them as well as he does."  
  
Lucius Malfoy travelled down into the deep dungeons of the castle where the Weasleys toiled at empty tables.

"Merlin save me!" he thought with a certain aristocratic horror and opened his grey eyes wide. "I cannot see anything at all!" But Lucius would never admit this, and so he remained silent under the smirking glare of Severus and the magpie chatter of the Weasleys. Both invited him to come closer, to inspect the fine weave and delicate magics of their wondrous cloth. The pale Death Eater tried his best, but he could not see a thing in the hands of the Weasley boys for there was nothing to be seen

"Can I be such a weak wizard?" Lucius asked himself anxiously and he wondered if the vaunted Malfoy blood had weakened over the generations. "Can I be that I am unfit to serve my lord? No, no, I cannot admit to that I can't see this magical cloth."  
  
"Have you nothing to say?" asked one of the Weasleys as he pretended to be busily weaving with his wand.  
  
"Oh it is quite amazing," answered Lucius, looking down his nose. "What a beautiful pattern, what elegant transfiguration! I shall tell Lord Voldemort that I like this cloth very much."  
  
"We are please to hear that," said the Weasleys, and they described to him the colors and explained the curious pattern of magic. The Death Eater listened attentively, that he might relate to the dark wizard what they said later. It went well, except that Lord Voldemort cursed Lucius with a round of Cruciatus for failing to bring a cup of coffee to him.  
  
Now the Weasleys asked for more Galleons, fabrics and rare ingredients like dragon eyelashes and crystal scarabs from lost deserts. They kept everything for themselves, and not a single thread came near their work benches. however they continued to work as hard as ever in front of their tables. Soon afterwards the dark wizard sent another of his Death Eaters to the Weasleys to see how they were getting on, and if the cloth was near completion. Just as Lucius did, Peter Pettigrew looked and looked but could not see anything for there was nothing to see.  
  
"Is it not a wondrous piece of cloth?" asked the Weasleys, showing and explaining the magnifient pattern that did not exist. In a corner, Severus Snape continued to glare and smirk.  
  
"I am not stupid," thought Peter with fear. "It must be that I am just not pure enough or strong enough for my position. This is very strange, but I must not let anyone know it." He praised the cloth that he could not see, and expressed feverish joy at the colors and patterns.

"It is very excellent," he said to Lord Voldemort between rounds of Cruciatus for bringing the dark wizard stale and burnt coffee.  
  
The Death Eaters whispered and discussed the precious cloth endlessly. At last the dark wizard wish to see it himself, while it was still uncut. With a number of his soldiers, including Lucius and Peter, he went down to the dungeons to visit the clever Weasleys who now worked as hard as they could without using any threads at all.  
  
"Is it not magnificent?" said the two Death Eaters who had visited before. "My lord, you must admire the colors and the cunning pattern of magic." They pointed to the empty tables, for they imagined the others could all see the cloth. In a corner, Severus Snape raised an eyebrow and continued to stare.  
  
"What madness is this?" thought Lord Voldemort. "I do not see anything at all. This terrible? Am I weak? Am I unfit to reshape the Wizarding world? That would be the most dreadful thing imaginable."  
  
"Well," he said, turning to the Weasleys who waited with their hands clasped behind their backs. "Your cloth meets with my approval." The dark wizard nodded with contentment as he regarded the empty tables for he did not want to admit that he saw nothing. All the Death Eaters gathered in the castle peered and craned their necks for nought, for there was nothing to see.

"It is very beautiful," they crowed. All of them advised Lord Voldemort to wear the magnificent new robes at the final battle which was soon to take place.

"It is excellent, beautiful, brilliant," they cried. All of them seemed to be excited, and Lord Voldemort appointed Lucius and Peter to lead the battle against the Order of the Phoenix.  
  
The whole night before the battle, the Weasleys pretended to work and burned more than sixteen candles in the damp dungeons. They were busy, finishing the dark wizard's new robes. They pretended to take the cloth from their tables and cut in the air with large silver scissors and sewed with golden needles.

At last they announced, "The robes are ready now!"  
  
Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters waited in the castle's enormous hall. The Weasleys held up their arms as if carrying something delicate and announced each garment with fanfare.

"They are light as cobwebs and one must feel as if one was wearing nothing at all upon the body. But that is the beauty of them, for they are more fine than moonlight and stronger than the killing curse!"  
  
"Indeed!" shouted the Death Eaters but they could not see anything, for there was nothing to be seen.  
  
"First I think I would like to see the effectiveness of these robes," Lord Voldemort said with a flash of cunning. "Rodolphus, I want you to try on these magical robes for me." Lord Voldemort had never truly been fond of Rodolphus and indeed felt that the ungainly wizard took time and energy away from his wife Bellatrix. The dark wizard had a secret fondness for the shrill and devoted Death Eater witch, and had long hoped that he might find some way to do away with her husband.  
  
With some trepidation, Rodolphus allowed the Weasleys to drape the magical robes around his shoulders. He could not see or feel a thing, and he was seized with a sudden fear. Across the hall, Lord Voldemort took out his wand.  
  
"Avada Kedavra!" With a startled grimace, Rodolphus slid to the floor quite dead. The other Death Eaters were hushed. The Weasleys looked nervous and shuffled from side to side. Severus Snape resisted the urge to roll his eyes, because he was often forced to listen to Lord Voldemort complain about Bellatrix's unfortunate state of matrimony.  
  
"It appears that Rodolphus lacked the necessary prowess of mind to wear these robes," laughed the dark wizard. "Now it is time for a true wizard to wear them."  
  
"If it would please your lordship now to graciously undress," said the Weasleys with some relief, "that we may assist you in preparing for battle." Lord Voldemort undressed, and Peter brought in an enormous mirror from some chamber nearby. The Weasleys pretended to dress Lord Voldemort, one piece after another, and the dark wizard looked at himself in the mirror from every angle.  
  
"How well they suit you! How excellent are the shifting colors! These are fantastic robes, my lord!" The Death Eaters called out compliments one after each other, each vying to outdo the other and desperately hoping to conceal their ignorance. From the fire, Bellatrix Lestrange announced that she was ready to lead the Dementors on Hogwarts.  
  
"I am ready," Lord Voldemort answered, and Bellatrix disappeared into the flames. "Do my robes not suit me marvelously?" he asked of his soldiers. The dark wizard turned back to the mirror so that everyone might think he was admiring his magical garments. The senior Death Eaters put on their masks. House elves scurried away with Roldolphus' body.  
  
Lord Voldemort apparated into the grounds of Hogwarts, where a pitched battle was raging with the Aurors and the Order of the Phoenix. Many of the wizards were stunned to the dark wizard striding stark naked into battle, and so they dropped their wands in surprise. None could speak for the the horrifying sight. Lord Voldemort smirked and felt secure in the knowledge that his powerful new robes were his secret to victory. Light and curses exploded all around, and Dementors swooped overhead, battling giant eagles.  
  
At last Lord Voldemort marched into the courtyard where Harry Potter stood in singed and smoking robes.  
  
"Why are you naked?" Harry Potter asked in surprise. Lord Voldemort laughed, glad to know his enemy was an inferior wizard and could not see the magnificent magical robes.  
  
"Avada Kedavra!" shouted Harry Potter. A bright green light seared Lord Voldemort's world. The dark wizard collapsed onto the ground, and the Death Eaters lowered their wands across the battlefield.  
  
"Why was he stark naked?" Harry asked of no one in particular, still befuddled. From the battlefield, Severus Snape began to laugh.


End file.
